


Affections For The Apathetic

by Mishaa



Series: He Who Hung The Stars [2]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Gen, Implied Kuroko/Aomine, Implied Midorima/Takao, Implied Murasakibara/Himuro, M/M, One-Sided Kise/Aomine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-05
Updated: 2012-10-05
Packaged: 2017-11-15 16:53:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/529466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mishaa/pseuds/Mishaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The tears weren't enough because you knew they were only there to please you, not because he actually felt anything. And you're scared that one day, you'll start to loathe his indifference and lose him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Affections For The Apathetic

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BlackMaya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackMaya/gifts).



> Because I'm incapable of writing TakaMido, even when they're my second favorite pair - right behind AoKuro on the top, and right above AkaTsushi down on third.

 

It's not like you were keeping it a secret. Everyone on the team knew, or at least suspected, you were a sadist.

You were the captain and everyone's seen how you love manipulating people, love watching them squirm under your gaze, and training the team to become the best players there ever were just so you could see the frustration in your adversaries at the sight of the overwhelming gap between the scores. 

(If it brought victory, then the team indulges you and your quirks - following your lead no questions asked, even when you ask them to strip their clothes off - at this, Ryouta is more than happy to oblige, and you try not to smirk at how he “subtly” steals glances at Daiki, pretending to be looking at Kuroko beside him instead.)

What dumb luck it was that the only person you ever felt an emotion even close to love for had the emotional capacity of a six year old child who saw nothing but sweets and chips. He'd follow you blindly, content with just being at your side and pleasing you. He'd even forget his affinity for food if you so much as asked, but it'll never be enough because deep down you’ve always known that the tears streaming down Atsushi's face are forced - they are there only because he knows you wish to see them and he does it to please you, not because he actually feels anything. 

You know that Atsushi does not feel pain - could not feel pain. And that every bite and bruise and scratch you impale him with only gives him pleasure - because it's his greatest wish to please you and you just want to scream out your frustrations and say, no, it's not enough, it's not pleasing you at all. But you do not tell him this because you know it will not change anything.

Even so, you prefer him over anyone else. Tetsuya and Ryouta, however enjoyable the sight of them squirming beneath you is, are far too easy. Mocking them about their one sided love for Daiki is enough to get their eyes to well with tears. (Well, so maybe it isn’t that one-sided for Tetsuya after all, but the boy didn’t need to know that just yet, and you enjoy exploiting his weaknesses.) 

Shintarou, like Atsushi, does what he is told. But only because he is driven by logic and he knows resisting is futile. Nonetheless, he persists on clearing his face of any emotion. He does not even bother to pretend to be unwilling or scared, and that emptiness - that lack of response - is worse than Atushi’s blatant apathy. You despise that trait in him the most.

(When you meet him again in the wintercup, he is partnered with an idiot, and you cannot comprehend why such a talent like him would stoop so low - and you do not wish to admit it, but there is some part of you that questions, what it is about Shuutoku number 10 that makes Shintarou break composure?)

Daiki on the other hand will complain before and afterwards and no matter how good the in-between is, it’s almost never worth it. Mentioning Tetsuya will clam him up for a while, just enough for you to enjoy seeing him frustrated at being powerless to oppose you once again, but he never once tears up and every time there is only defiance in his eyes and you fear for his insurgence later on.

Atsushi is your favorite because his reactions closest to your ideals - you will not admit to anything more, nor do you need to because no one would dare question you. From the very beginning, he knew exactly what you wanted and how you wanted it and gave it to you, like he’d been dreaming about it, or had given it much thought and planning.

And you were right to pick him, because unlike the rest of the team, it was only he who applied to Rakuzan with you - the rest, following Tetsuya's lead, enrolled in different schools and effectively broke their miracle of a team. 

(You laugh at the irony of this because you believed it would be _Daiki_ instead, that would ruin you and that Tetsuya would only follow him. Imagine your surprise when, not only did Tetsuya split your team apart, but he also destroyed the perfect light and shadow team the wold had ever seen by breaking away from Daiki.)

As expected, you and Atsushi are accepted right away into Rakuzan. However, you instruct Atsushi to take up another school's offer. For a moment, Atsushi's brows knit in confusion and you allow yourself to get your hopes up - that finally he'd show some sort of resistance, that he’d _defy_ you for the sake of _being with you_ , but the look cleared out as soon as it came, because Atsushi agreed, no questions asked, with the passive flat tone he always used.

You believe all will turn out well for you because you know Atsushi will always remain loyal to you -that is a fact that will not change. He will do everything you wish, even when it breaches the boundaries of unreasonable (like coming over in the middle of his History class for a quickie). You even get to keep a safe distance between you so you are not subjected to seeing him everyday.

You’re scared that  _one day_ , you might not be able to take it and you’d snap and start to loathe his indifference, and then you’d lose him.

But you lost him anyway.

Being who he is, he might not even know it yet. He might still be oblivious to the fact that someone else besides you had wormed (or dug, considering what a _mole_ he was) their way into his heart, and unknowingly gained his loyalties. Atsushi would deny it, and if asked who he preferred, he’d say your name, but not without a nanosecond of hesitation, and even that would hurt you.

Atsushi had found someone else who he’d listen to, someone who, unlike you, could illicit emotions from him. And that hurt most of all. Atsushi was capable of emotions and you could not bring them out of him. It was your decision that got you to lose him. You drove him into Yosen and without knowing, you loosened your hold on his leash.

You do not make mistakes. This was not a mistake. Losing him was not a mistake.

_Then why did it hurt so much?_

**Author's Note:**

> Darn. I didn't want to write it like this, but this is how my fingers typed it. And I just could not resist the AoKuro and the Himuro joke. And I really hope I did not murder Akashi's character again OTL


End file.
